I hate it when the rain just keeps coming down. The dreariness is just plain depressing. The sun came out last night for a little while and my mood just completely lifted. Then getting up this morning and riding the bus all the way into work, it just got all gloomy again. I can only imagine how Noah could have possibly felt despondent after all that rain and no sign of any end in sight if two days of downpours gets to me. I'm looking for a rainbow today!
I must say though, I took full advantage of the puddles yesterday afternoon both walking to the bus and the bus parking lot in Huntersville. I had the hindsight to wear my Crocs sandals yesterday, so any puddle was not looked upon with fear as had I been wearing any other shoe which was sure to have gotten ruined. I quite enjoyed sloshing in the puddles knowing my shoes would be dried out by the time I got home and if not a quick wipe down would make them good as new. I LOVE Crocs. They just seem to always give me a spring in my step!! (Not to mention the orthopedic benefits, way better than pointy heels!)
I don't think I care if we need the rain. I hate it when people say that. We're not gonna run out of water. Worst case is people won't be able to water their lawns. Who really cares about that? If your neighbor's grass is gonna be just as brown, truly, what difference does it make? The rainy season is here and is gonna stay for a while, I'm just glad I live in Mecklenburg County as opposed to Broome County so we'll get to see the sun in between the raindrops. I'm sure noone in Broome is saying, oh but we need the rain. The pictures of floods are still so devastating in Endwell, where I grew up. Prayers are continued to be said if any of my hometown friends are reading this.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
The Mall
When did 3 hours at the mall become a painful prospect? I just ache from head to toe! I think there is not enough oxygen pumped into Concord Mills because I don't feel this way when we go to Northlake. Maybe there's not enough sunlight either. Either way middle age has a drawback or three :)
It was a successful trip however so that makes it worth it. Holly got everything she needed and I even managed to slip in a treat for myself including my favorite candles from Kirkland's- Vanilla Brown Sugar. I highly recommend them and at $5.98 for the big ones they want $30 for at Yankee Candle you really can't go wrong. And between last night and today, I have updated my wardrobe for fall for home and work. That is shopping success.
So glad the Deacon's BBQ is at church tonight and I am so glad I don't have to fix dinner tonight. We are fasting at this week so the timing is great. In addition to dietary restrictions, I am giving up facebook and am not going to wear any jewelry other than my wedding ring to remind myself that this world is far too ornamental.
Glad I don't have to go back to the mall again until I choose to, and hopefully won't have to go to Concord Mills again to Christmas!!
It was a successful trip however so that makes it worth it. Holly got everything she needed and I even managed to slip in a treat for myself including my favorite candles from Kirkland's- Vanilla Brown Sugar. I highly recommend them and at $5.98 for the big ones they want $30 for at Yankee Candle you really can't go wrong. And between last night and today, I have updated my wardrobe for fall for home and work. That is shopping success.
So glad the Deacon's BBQ is at church tonight and I am so glad I don't have to fix dinner tonight. We are fasting at this week so the timing is great. In addition to dietary restrictions, I am giving up facebook and am not going to wear any jewelry other than my wedding ring to remind myself that this world is far too ornamental.
Glad I don't have to go back to the mall again until I choose to, and hopefully won't have to go to Concord Mills again to Christmas!!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Doctor's Appointment
I feel like I have so many doctor's appointments that I never take the time to go to the ones I really should be going to. It seems as though there is so much focus on my spondylolethesis that I never get my mammogram, pap smear etc. done. I guess it's not different than anything else. We focus on what we need to in order to get through the day and let the rest of it fall to the wayside. Crisis management, always.
Today I go to see Dr Heins. He is the Spine Pain Management Specialist. Basically I agree to be drug tested monthly in exchange for a monthly supply of tramadol to keep my back pain at bay. Did you note the at bay? Very important. I used to be able to just get it from my PCP, but now they've changed its scheduling. The PCP can still prescribe it but not in the quantity that I need. Apparently it's a gateway for abuse. I can't imagine how many pills it would take to catch a buzz from it, but I'm sure there are some addicts who would take the chance on that out there. Personally, I'd rather move to a legal marijuana state. It would certainly be a much healtheir alternative to all of the prescription drugs, although probably wouldn't manage my pain any better than tramadol does. Either way, it's an inconvenience and an expensive one to Aetna. I could not believe the EOB after my first visit. Really $905?? Of course he spent a full hour talking with me!
Honestly, that would be my only concern about ever getting laid off. I'm all about getting my package, collecting unemployment and temping all at once, not to mention being able to cash out my 401k and pension and pay off all of the bills and get ahead on Southlake tuition. But how would I ever find an affordable healthcare plan? That's the scary part. I don't much like President Obama or the contents of Obama Care but we do need some sort of nationalized healthplan. I shouldn't have to be an indentured servant to corporate America just to have good health insurance without selling blood (which by the way I can't do anyway, my veins are just too tiny).
I really shouldn't even be paying the $25 copay. With Southlake tuition there's barely enough left over to get by. Prayers please for Charles to remain in this position longer than a few months and for it to end up being realtively lucrative. I know God gives us exactly what we need exactly when we need it. He always does, I see the daily miracle of his provisioning. He is so faithful.
Today I go to see Dr Heins. He is the Spine Pain Management Specialist. Basically I agree to be drug tested monthly in exchange for a monthly supply of tramadol to keep my back pain at bay. Did you note the at bay? Very important. I used to be able to just get it from my PCP, but now they've changed its scheduling. The PCP can still prescribe it but not in the quantity that I need. Apparently it's a gateway for abuse. I can't imagine how many pills it would take to catch a buzz from it, but I'm sure there are some addicts who would take the chance on that out there. Personally, I'd rather move to a legal marijuana state. It would certainly be a much healtheir alternative to all of the prescription drugs, although probably wouldn't manage my pain any better than tramadol does. Either way, it's an inconvenience and an expensive one to Aetna. I could not believe the EOB after my first visit. Really $905?? Of course he spent a full hour talking with me!
Honestly, that would be my only concern about ever getting laid off. I'm all about getting my package, collecting unemployment and temping all at once, not to mention being able to cash out my 401k and pension and pay off all of the bills and get ahead on Southlake tuition. But how would I ever find an affordable healthcare plan? That's the scary part. I don't much like President Obama or the contents of Obama Care but we do need some sort of nationalized healthplan. I shouldn't have to be an indentured servant to corporate America just to have good health insurance without selling blood (which by the way I can't do anyway, my veins are just too tiny).
I really shouldn't even be paying the $25 copay. With Southlake tuition there's barely enough left over to get by. Prayers please for Charles to remain in this position longer than a few months and for it to end up being realtively lucrative. I know God gives us exactly what we need exactly when we need it. He always does, I see the daily miracle of his provisioning. He is so faithful.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
My Favorite Verse
My favorite verse is Jeremiah 29:11. It brings me lots of strength and comfort. God speaks to me through this verse in more ways than you can imagine. I've never been one to question God and his wisdom but at the time I first really studied this verse, I was getting to a place where I was starting to. Charles had just lost his job with the cable group, I was getting ready to have my 3rd neck surgery due to hardware issues (loose screws and slipping plates) and lack of fusion from the prior fusion. I was just overwhelmed and feeling really down and didn't understand why I had to go through all of this... again no less. Was I missing a lesson? Was I supposed to have gotten something that I hadn't gotten yet?
I think I stumbled upon this verse in a daily devotional in the NIV, and if you're not familiar with it allow me to share: "11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." That made me feel better, a lot better.
Maybe to some people it would have been, oh yeah cool, but not me. These words just jumped off the page. It was as if God was saying to me, Hello! Everything you've dealt with in your life? All that bad stuff, all the abuse and the sinful living, and then bringing you and Charles together and you finally turning to me and welcoming me back into your heart? I knew all of it was going to happen. I wish you hadn't gone off on your own for a while, but it's okay. It was part of my glorious plan for you as you wouldn't have been strong enough had you not gone through all of that. I was there for you the whole time, making sure nothing would ever cross the point of no return, making sure that you could survive all of your injuries and become a stronger woman for it. Because I have huge plans for you and there isn't going to be any more bad stuff as long as you stick with me and focus on me. You need to know that you have a wonderful future ahead of you. So when you feel down, or when the enemy tries to really bum you out with his lies, just remember all the cool stuff ahead of you. That was the first time I read it, and I thought oh if I had only known that before!! How different my life would have been!
I love it when God totally speaks to me through a verse. Not long after that, I attended a dinner for the ladies at church. I was going to sit at one table but then some girls I know from bible study waved me over to sit with them as it was my first outing after my 3rd neck surgery and they wanted to know how I was doing,etc. The night before when they were setting up the room, the prayer committee prayed individually at each chair and left a book mark with a bible verse and what do you know, mine was Jeremiah 29:11. At first I thought, well how cool, I love that verse. Then I realized that each of us had a different verse, and it was just so surreal. I felt then and I still feel now that God shared his Word directly to me through this event. We were all gathered for a different reason, but wow, was I there for a Word!!
One of my favorite things to do is compare verses in different versions of the bible. Jeremiah 29:11 is pretty much the same in almost all of them, but the Message even puts a greater spin on things, especially if you are into Eschatology like I am. It goes like this: "10-11This is God's Word on the subject: "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Does this not have rapture written all over it?? I love it, I love the promise of it, I love knowing he is going to come get all of his brothers and sisters and bring us to heaven before Satan is unleashed on the earth. How incredibly awesome!! It just means so much more from that point of view.
Of course, these are just my opinions and interpretations, but hey, it's my blog :) Disclaimer added and noted. If you're a man, pay no attention to my rants, lol! Unless of course there have been many interpretations done by famous scholars. In that case, pay attention beloved!
I think I stumbled upon this verse in a daily devotional in the NIV, and if you're not familiar with it allow me to share: "11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." That made me feel better, a lot better.
Maybe to some people it would have been, oh yeah cool, but not me. These words just jumped off the page. It was as if God was saying to me, Hello! Everything you've dealt with in your life? All that bad stuff, all the abuse and the sinful living, and then bringing you and Charles together and you finally turning to me and welcoming me back into your heart? I knew all of it was going to happen. I wish you hadn't gone off on your own for a while, but it's okay. It was part of my glorious plan for you as you wouldn't have been strong enough had you not gone through all of that. I was there for you the whole time, making sure nothing would ever cross the point of no return, making sure that you could survive all of your injuries and become a stronger woman for it. Because I have huge plans for you and there isn't going to be any more bad stuff as long as you stick with me and focus on me. You need to know that you have a wonderful future ahead of you. So when you feel down, or when the enemy tries to really bum you out with his lies, just remember all the cool stuff ahead of you. That was the first time I read it, and I thought oh if I had only known that before!! How different my life would have been!
I love it when God totally speaks to me through a verse. Not long after that, I attended a dinner for the ladies at church. I was going to sit at one table but then some girls I know from bible study waved me over to sit with them as it was my first outing after my 3rd neck surgery and they wanted to know how I was doing,etc. The night before when they were setting up the room, the prayer committee prayed individually at each chair and left a book mark with a bible verse and what do you know, mine was Jeremiah 29:11. At first I thought, well how cool, I love that verse. Then I realized that each of us had a different verse, and it was just so surreal. I felt then and I still feel now that God shared his Word directly to me through this event. We were all gathered for a different reason, but wow, was I there for a Word!!
One of my favorite things to do is compare verses in different versions of the bible. Jeremiah 29:11 is pretty much the same in almost all of them, but the Message even puts a greater spin on things, especially if you are into Eschatology like I am. It goes like this: "10-11This is God's Word on the subject: "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Does this not have rapture written all over it?? I love it, I love the promise of it, I love knowing he is going to come get all of his brothers and sisters and bring us to heaven before Satan is unleashed on the earth. How incredibly awesome!! It just means so much more from that point of view.
Of course, these are just my opinions and interpretations, but hey, it's my blog :) Disclaimer added and noted. If you're a man, pay no attention to my rants, lol! Unless of course there have been many interpretations done by famous scholars. In that case, pay attention beloved!
Why Blog?
My husband asked me last night why I had started a blog. My short answer was, why not? But after much thought and reflection, there is much more to it.
As a middle aged (ugh) woman, I wear several different hats throughout the day: the mom hat, the wife hat, the good employee hat, the good Christian hat, and I'm sure I can make the list longer if I try. Depending on which hat I'm wearing, when solicited for an opinion, I could conceivably give a different, yet acceptable and accurate response each time. It would go like this: Question: What's for dinner? Wife Hat: I don't know, what would you like? We could have..... Mom hat: I haven't decided yet, how about ..... Worker hat: I'll have to figure that one out on my way home. Good Christian hat: I'm not particularly led on one thing or another. I'll pray for guidance on that one.
Granted this is a very simplistic representation of responses, but the answer is all the same, but phrased in so many different ways depending on the audience.
My blog however, is a reflection of the real ME. Here I am free to address any issue any way I feel like it. Read it or don't, I don't care. If I offend someone, that's the chance you take when you read my blog. Because that's just it, it's MINE. I'm certain there will be times that a particular hat will be worn if I feel strongly about something and I am the person wearing the hat (ie mom hat: you better not spank my child in school, better yet, you just better not touch my child whoever you are).
But I am writing this blog for me, to express my opinion and to share my thoughts for me. If someone reads it, great, I hope you enjoy my thoughts and use it as an opportunity to get to know me better. But my intended audience is the virtual me and I won't be dissuaded to alter my thoughts/responses/answers based on any particular audience.
This should probably be a disclaimer as opposed to a blog. But it's my blog and I'll just leave it at that. No juidgement, no need to impress, no need to be someone I'm not or hope to persuade someone to agree with me.
Just me, my keyboard and my brain. And my love of God and my hope to share his word with anyone who is interested in knowing him and loving him too.
As a middle aged (ugh) woman, I wear several different hats throughout the day: the mom hat, the wife hat, the good employee hat, the good Christian hat, and I'm sure I can make the list longer if I try. Depending on which hat I'm wearing, when solicited for an opinion, I could conceivably give a different, yet acceptable and accurate response each time. It would go like this: Question: What's for dinner? Wife Hat: I don't know, what would you like? We could have..... Mom hat: I haven't decided yet, how about ..... Worker hat: I'll have to figure that one out on my way home. Good Christian hat: I'm not particularly led on one thing or another. I'll pray for guidance on that one.
Granted this is a very simplistic representation of responses, but the answer is all the same, but phrased in so many different ways depending on the audience.
My blog however, is a reflection of the real ME. Here I am free to address any issue any way I feel like it. Read it or don't, I don't care. If I offend someone, that's the chance you take when you read my blog. Because that's just it, it's MINE. I'm certain there will be times that a particular hat will be worn if I feel strongly about something and I am the person wearing the hat (ie mom hat: you better not spank my child in school, better yet, you just better not touch my child whoever you are).
But I am writing this blog for me, to express my opinion and to share my thoughts for me. If someone reads it, great, I hope you enjoy my thoughts and use it as an opportunity to get to know me better. But my intended audience is the virtual me and I won't be dissuaded to alter my thoughts/responses/answers based on any particular audience.
This should probably be a disclaimer as opposed to a blog. But it's my blog and I'll just leave it at that. No juidgement, no need to impress, no need to be someone I'm not or hope to persuade someone to agree with me.
Just me, my keyboard and my brain. And my love of God and my hope to share his word with anyone who is interested in knowing him and loving him too.
Monday, September 12, 2011
My Cube
I'm noticing my cube today. It has the normal set up, 3 "walls" which are high as far as cubes go. They provide minimal privacy and I suppose it's better than low cubes or no cubes. I don't really decorate it like many people do. A few pictures of Holly and Charles, awards and/or recogntions that aren't too old, placques, my name plate in case I forget who I am, and the usual office supplies/telephone/headset/docking station/monitor etc. I do keep a cross on one of the walls as well as a couple of bible verses that give me strength on many a day to make it until 4:00. I try to be a good witness wherever and whenever I can. And then of course a sweet love note from my husband so I can think of him and smile.
There have only been two instances when I haven't had a cube, both were secretarial positions and I was in the hallway. But the rest of the time I've been in a cube. Different companies have different policies on cubes. There's the Admin cube, which is only 2 1/2 walls for some reason, like Admins have the flexibility to just stop and talk to anyone - if only that were the case!
Then there's the whole cube size/height versus office debate which really gets crazy at some companies. I've worked for several companies and your cube size and structure is all based upon your job level/sigificance by size of walls, low, medium, high and then the true office. Must make a space manager nuts. One company even had a rule about square footage of office size based on number of years of service if you even qualified for an office. I'm glad I've never had to judge my self-worth based on how tall my cube walls are!
My cube does get cold so I keep a heating pad (so as to have a "heated" seat), a sweater and an afghan. I also keep crackers in case I get so busy I can't get away for lunch, which is rare but on occasion I'm glad I thought ahead. Altoids are a must, although I prefer the ginger flavored ones. They are very uncommon and most people aren't interested in one. You have to protect your personal cube supplies. Tissues in particular have a way of disappearing, especially when sneezing starts going around.
It's all pretty dull, cubeland. My current floor there is just a row of cubes and a row of offices. But in a previous role, you could get lost finding your row and giving directions such as, take the 2nd right past the copier seemed commonplace.
I try to be a good cube neighbor and take the precautions to follow proper cube etiquette, mostly being as quiet as I can. I go hours without saying a word but thanks to IMing it doesn't always feel that way. Cubes and IMs, headsets and mute buttons. Gotta think of our neighbors.
My cube is close to an office so I get some natural light coming in. Once I worked at the World Trade Center in Boston and never knew what it was like outside for days on end as I'd get in early while it was still dark and leave after dark. Glad those days are over.
I'm glad I have a cube these days. I used to not be very excited about going to work to sit in my cube, but it's better than the alternative. God has been so good and faithful, and if he has decided I'm to be the provider during this season of our lives, than who am I to tell him no? Ruth Graham did what she had to do, why shouldn't I do what I have to do? Our lives are very different, but I think I admire her more than any other woman. It was because of her sacrifice that led to SO MANY people knowing the Lord. I will probably never know what my sitting in this cube is doing for the kingdom, but it's all part of God's glorious plan and I'm so thankful to be his daughter, an heiress, as I know "I have a beautiful inheritance." Psalm 16:6 ESV
There have only been two instances when I haven't had a cube, both were secretarial positions and I was in the hallway. But the rest of the time I've been in a cube. Different companies have different policies on cubes. There's the Admin cube, which is only 2 1/2 walls for some reason, like Admins have the flexibility to just stop and talk to anyone - if only that were the case!
Then there's the whole cube size/height versus office debate which really gets crazy at some companies. I've worked for several companies and your cube size and structure is all based upon your job level/sigificance by size of walls, low, medium, high and then the true office. Must make a space manager nuts. One company even had a rule about square footage of office size based on number of years of service if you even qualified for an office. I'm glad I've never had to judge my self-worth based on how tall my cube walls are!
My cube does get cold so I keep a heating pad (so as to have a "heated" seat), a sweater and an afghan. I also keep crackers in case I get so busy I can't get away for lunch, which is rare but on occasion I'm glad I thought ahead. Altoids are a must, although I prefer the ginger flavored ones. They are very uncommon and most people aren't interested in one. You have to protect your personal cube supplies. Tissues in particular have a way of disappearing, especially when sneezing starts going around.
It's all pretty dull, cubeland. My current floor there is just a row of cubes and a row of offices. But in a previous role, you could get lost finding your row and giving directions such as, take the 2nd right past the copier seemed commonplace.
I try to be a good cube neighbor and take the precautions to follow proper cube etiquette, mostly being as quiet as I can. I go hours without saying a word but thanks to IMing it doesn't always feel that way. Cubes and IMs, headsets and mute buttons. Gotta think of our neighbors.
My cube is close to an office so I get some natural light coming in. Once I worked at the World Trade Center in Boston and never knew what it was like outside for days on end as I'd get in early while it was still dark and leave after dark. Glad those days are over.
I'm glad I have a cube these days. I used to not be very excited about going to work to sit in my cube, but it's better than the alternative. God has been so good and faithful, and if he has decided I'm to be the provider during this season of our lives, than who am I to tell him no? Ruth Graham did what she had to do, why shouldn't I do what I have to do? Our lives are very different, but I think I admire her more than any other woman. It was because of her sacrifice that led to SO MANY people knowing the Lord. I will probably never know what my sitting in this cube is doing for the kingdom, but it's all part of God's glorious plan and I'm so thankful to be his daughter, an heiress, as I know "I have a beautiful inheritance." Psalm 16:6 ESV
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